Once Upon A Timey-In Progress

 Chapter 1: The Humble Introduction

Once upon a time there was a nice quaint, humble village laying on a high plateau. The king of this village was a dictator intent on tyranny. Yet like all tales do there was a singular house on the edge of the village or as people say the odd one out. People told horrendous stories about how the person inside killed small ducklings and toasting them upon bonfires fueled with rage and hate. Yet no one had ever once seen the inhabitor of the house leave.

“They take children from their beds!” one person cried. Of course the parents took advantage of this tale and told their daughters and sons that if they didn’t get to bed in time they would get taken. All of the children believed this funny tale, and while most people wouldn’t call the tale funny, two children the size of a small chair didn’t believe it. Their parents gasped in horror and struck their bony fingers in the direction of the crumbling dark house, yelling and insisting that the man inside was a monster. So in return the children questioned their parents whether they had any proof, and with no proof in hand the parents saw no fit but to spin a tale.

“One day in a nice little village protected by strong magic!” their father started.

“Magic?” The boy’s eyes lit up, and he got promptly hit in the back of his head by his sister.

“I hope you know that’s not true,” his sister spat. Her parents tried to coax them into bed instead but they refused without proper proof. In the end the two children stayed awake until 2 o’clock in the morning before their eyes shuttered closed. The parents were weary and tired wondering why out of all the children, did they have to get the intelligent ones. As the day passed and night crept in, the parents dreadfully climbed up the weaving stairs once more, to find their children already in bed!

“I guess we scared them off!” the father cried.

“It’s a miracle!” the mother replied, then like little children they giggled and shussed each other into silence, then walked down the stairs in a formal manner returning their composture. Of course both of the parents were blind to the fact that their children in fact were not sleeping but feigning it. As soon as their parent’s footsteps faded they both hopped to their feet in their nightclothes. The sister ripped off her night cap viciously and her brother took off his slippers, then after a thought put them back on.

“Let’s go!” the sister cried. As proper introductions should be made the sister was Jane, and the brother was Timothy, not Jack but Timothy. It quite irritated the brother that his parents were drunk on whiskey when they decided it was the perfect time to name their only son while under the influence. So instead of a nice little Jane and Jack they got a Jane and Timothy. Timothy slid on a nice fluffy coat whereas his sister pulled up a suave, sleek jacket.

“Where on Earth did you find that! Silk is expensive, you know!” Timothy whisper cried. His sister shot him a half-hearted look and pulled up the window. Jane took one look at his fuzzy bunny slippers then sighed. As they were short and stubby they had to ease themselves down the 4 feet drop. “You know suddenly I don’t want to check out that creepy house,” Timothy said, as you should know already the two wanted to bring proof that the man that lived in the house on the edge of the village called Harvey was not a monster.

Chapter Two: The House on the Edge of the Village called Harvey

The king sat on his throne feeling very tall and stiff as all royalty should. He gave no show of warmth and was determined to only show cold clarity, but as a king he wanted to make a show of power. Like moving a queen in the chessboard, somewhat like a powermove, it needed to be efficient yet enough for people to look up to him. So he turned to the house on the edge of the village. He looked intently at his guards and as soon as his gaze fell upon them, they straightened their backs and raised their chins up. He turned to the large decorated window and through the heavily tinted windows he saw the house, ruining his beautiful oceanside view. Did I forget to tell you the mountain was right next to a huge beach? Anyways the king had enough and told his soldiers that by 3 days after today, sunset that house should be attacked and invaded. The soldiers were also told the stories at a young age and internally regretted becoming soldiers for this king now, but still they marched off into planning groups.

Meanwhile, the children were scrambling towards the house, completely unaware what would hit the house in a few days. Jane sprinted onto the lushly, completely overgrown lawn, and she grasped Timothy’s hand as the lawn was a maze. She followed the rule where she put her hand on a wall and walked forward. After an hour of relentless walking the door of the house started to come into view. The two sibling’s breathing picked up.

“Well, moment of truth!” Timothy said, and he reached for the handle and turned it. Or tried to because the door was locked.

“Well what did you expect, a nice little welcome mat with the door unlocked?” Jane said.

“WELL, I don’t suppose you know how to pick a lock!”

“WELL, I HAVE A BUTTERKNIFE!”

“HOW ABOUT WE STOP SAYING WEL- wait you have a butterknife?”

“Yeah I nicked it off the kitchen counter, parents can sometimes be so clueless. Also that door looks really stabbable,”

“That was the dumbest thing I ever heard you sa-” before Timothy could complete his sentence Jane abruptly stabbed the butterknife into the pappery wood and violently ripped a chunk off. As they were small and tiny they lifted themself through the small hole and tumbled to the hard cold floor. The tiles were cool against the touch and both of them hopped to their feet. Jane went one direction and instead of being left behind Timothy sprinted to Jane’s side, and as they turned a corner they ran into a tiny girl pointing a musket at them.

The moment of shock did not pass and Jane and Timothy stumbled backwards and hit their backs on a wooden table.

“Who are you?” Timothy and the girl said at the same time.

“I’m the one with the gun here!” the girl said with a heavy British accent.

“Yes I understand your point now…”

“I demand an answer,” Although the girl was slightly shorter than them she delivered all of her words with perfect authority, the musket in her hand was probably helping the effect too. Jane had no intention of actually telling the girl her real name so she faked it.

“I’m Sarah and this is Jacob, so who are you?” The girl obviously didn’t buy the lie so she replied, “You have five seconds before I start chasing you.” Timothy didn’t know why she was warning them but simply asked a question.

“We didn’t do anything wrong…”

“You stabbed my front door and ripped a chunk out and ran inside. Be a decent person and knock. I could charge you to the king for breaking and entering”

“Well that was my sister not me,”

“Being an accomplice still counts.”

“How did you even come to own this house? You know they are making up some crazy stories about a man who takes children from their beds…” the girl thought for a moment, maybe considering answering him, then promptly started to chase the two.

Timothy never guessed when he went into the house, he would leave with a girl chasing him out with a musket. She had a feral look in her eyes as she joisted at the air behind them. Jane on the other hand was completely blown off her hinges. How could all those stories be thrown at a little girl? She was expecting a daunting man, or maybe even a monster that loved burning ducklings in bonfires, but of least expected to be chased out by a 5 year old looking girl. The girl stopped at the porch holding the musket in one hand and shook her fist at them with the other. Timothy was panting for he usually was not a very active person. As he looked back now he saw the girl inspecting her broken door with a frown, then he was hit by a pang of confusion. Why didn’t the girl just shoot them? Well it wasn’t like he wanted to be shot at but that led to his conclusion that the musket didn’t have bullets or the girl had some sort of insurance worker on standby to fix the door. Yes in this time there was insurance but for only the heavily wealthy, giving them a free pass to charge the person their money then get it fixed for free not using the apprehended money.

“Now we have some proof!” Jane said through her pants, but Timothy being the more analytical one already knew that in no universe would their parents believe that they broke in the crumbling house on the edge of the village Harvey and found a 5 year old girl holding a musket chasing them away.

“No, we saw evidence, we have no way to prove that the girl was actually there. Also at this point we both might be some sort of lunatics who are hallucinating," Timothy sighed, “Why did I ever think it was a good idea listening to you?” Jane had no answer and said simply, “Next time we go back there we come with a camera and more than a butterknife.” After she ran the thoughts through her head she suddenly realized how complex, expensive, and heavy that delicate piece of machinery would be. Only the very rich could afford just one since the newly found invention was still in its experimentational phase.

“How about we bring a sketch artist to draw her face?” Jane suggested.

“Anyone can draw a human, except maybe the fingers…, and also after all that talk about the house on the edge of the village, why do you think someone would go to that ‘cursed’ place with two children?” Timothy countered. Jane understood what her brother meant, but still racked her brain with ideas. When she came up empty she sighed, “So you’re telling me that we’re just stuck with the knowledge that a girl is living in a ‘haunted house’ with a musket.”

“Essetianlly yes,”

“Since when did you know all those fancy words?”

“I read books when our parents tell us to instead of sneaking off,” Timothy said. Instead of denying the charges Jane thought hard about what they could do to reveal that there was no threat, and suddenly an idea sprang upon her mind. She turned to her brother, "What if we convince that little menace to show all of Harvey that in fact, she doesn’t take children in their nightclothes.”

“Something tells me she wouldn't fancy another visit from us…”

“Still something needs to be done.”

Chapter 3: Dreadful Socialization

It was hard work, pretending everything was normal. Everything around them was normal, kids gossipping about how their best friend once didn’t show up for school and how they got kidnapped by the man in the house. Jane had to fight the urge to jump up at them and yell, IT’S JUST A GIRL! But of course she couldn’t, her brother Timothy decided to simply completely isolate himself from the rest of society, holding a book called “Defensive Arts” and she could see on his small face he was thinking hard. She knew it was all an act though because the book was upside down. Although her best attempts at concealing her discovery, she desperately wanted to boast about her information, which led to the stupid idea of challenging the person in the back spreading the rumors about the ‘man’.

“Rubbish! It’s all lies and tales!” Jane shouted, the girl looked up, shock flashing across her face, no one had ever challenged her stories.

“My friend got kidnapped! You can’t fake that!”

“You don’t have any evidence that your little made up monster even exists!” Jane shot back. Timothy promptly dropped the book he was holding, realizing his sister was going to ruin everything. Most of the kids were fed the lies and believed them whole-heartedly so they gave Jane sour looks. Jane also knew that she didn’t have proof that the ‘man’ was a girl, but of course she didn’t say that out loud. Jane, noticing the crowd she was attracting, sprinted outside acting like she needed to go to the outhouse to do her business. Out of all the people the girl with the musket seemed the sensible out of all the tools in the messhall. Timothy quickly caught up to Jane, who seemed lost in thought.

“You can’t be going around and telling people everything without proof!” he cried.

“Tonight, we go back to the house,” Jane ignored. Timothy sighed and simply nodded.

Not much later after showering by dumping buckets of clean river water upon their heads, brushed their teeth with toothbrushes made of imported bamboo, then they dressed up in their nightclothes and saddled themselves into bed. As usual their parents crept up the stairs and slowly cracked open the door the slightest bit. They were relieved to see two children showered, teeth brushed, and tucked in bed.

“They grow up so quickly,” the father said, wiping tears from his eyes.

“They don’t even need us to tuck them in anymore” the mother replied, tears already running down. They then closed the door cautiously and stalked down the stairs.

For an agonizing time Jane and Timothy laid in bed, not wanting to alert their parents by making noise immediately after they closed the door. This time they were extra prepared. Jane slunk out of bed and turned to Timothy doing an extra double check of the supplies. As Jane threw the list of equipment Timothy shot them straight back.

“I thought you packed them!” Timothy hissed.

“Well I thought you packed them too!”

Well now it actually turned out they simply thought they were extra prepared. The two lapsed into an awkward silence, then Jane started talking again.

“We can’t go back in time. So instead of dwindling our thumbs, let’s go get them now!” Timothy shook his head, “Let’s go tomorrow, if we get caught today then we’ll be grounded then mum and dad are going to be extra vigilant…”

Jane sighed, “Enough with the fancy words, let’s go now.” Then she popped open the window and hopped out. Timothy stared at the open window his sister had just jumped out of and felt like bursting into giggles thinking this was all a bad dream. He pinched himself hard, expecting no pain, then got jabbed with it. Timothy cried out loud, then quickly quieted.

“What was that?” he heard his mom say. Timothy quickly realized his stupid mistake then internally berated him for being so clueless. He heard his parent’s footsteps ascending the stairs, although they tried to be sneaky it was always painfully obvious when they headed up. Timothy had come up with a plan then sprinted to the door and met them at it. He positioned his body so most of the room was blocked from his parent’s view.

“Sorry, I just stubbed my toe…” His parent’s eyebrows raised so high he believed for a silly second they would fall right off their heads. They eyed him so intently he feared that together they would burn a hole straight through his face. Timothy held his breath, sweating a bit, then suddenly both of his parents broke into a grin

“Alright little bear, go back to bed… and be more careful!” his mum said. Timothy, thankful for their kindness, hopped straight into bed and he heard the door close. He then slowly crawled out of bed, then got nailed in the head with a rock. He winced and saw that the source of the rock was from the window, he ran to the windowsill and looked upon his sister.

“Jolly good distraction!” she cried, “While they were upstairs I nicked 5 forks, 3 butterknifes, and even a spoon!” While both Jane and Timothy didn’t know at the time, Jane’s idea to go that day was a good idea, for the king’s soldiers were starting to prepare to invade the house the day after. Timothy hopped down to the ground and softly landed on the grass. They walked down the dusty street, then they both saw and heard three drunken sailors in a group stumbling down the street singing a song about tea and rum. Jane suspected they were tone deaf, for her ears seemed to burn with every verse they wailed. Suddenly the alleged leader of the group dropped his eyes upon a strange sight, two small blasted children wandering the streets at night. He stumbled towards them, his perception clouded by the heavy number of whiskey he chugged.

“Shouldn’t you kids be in your bed tucked in tight?” the sailor mocked, “If you aren’t, the man over there is going to pluck you off the street like cherry suckers, and take you away!” The sailor attempted to point at the crumbling house on the edge, but his vision, fogged by whiskey, jabbed his finger in the direction of the barber shop instead. Timothy cringed at his last memory at the barber shop where he got a serious bowl cut.

“As it seems it looks like you ought to be tucked in bed!” Jane fired back. Timothy, lost in his horrible memories, snapped back to the present. He knew Jane had a reputation for blubbering the worst things to say, at the worst times to say such things, but he never truly thought it would go that far.

“You should respect your elders, and learn to go to bed in time!” the sailor shouted. Timothy realized this was going downhill fast so he tried to compromise.

“If I give your lot some coin, will you leave me and my sister alone?”

“Fineeeeeeeeeee” the sailor dragged out his wail absurdly long, “Well, I don’t suppose you very conveniently have a coin in your pocket?” the drunkie asked suspiciously.

“Why would I ever suggest something I can’t even do?” Timothy said, “And no, I don’t have it in my pocket, I have it in my shoe!” he grasped the sole and with a hard pull, yanked his boot off. He dug inside of it and picked out a shining silver coin, the sailor eyed it as if slightly disappointed it wasn’t gold, but didn’t say anything. Jane looked at her brother debating whether she should be concerned or happy. She chose the latter, and smiled at her brother who was triumphantly holding the coin. The sailor snatched it from Timothy and inspected the coin, the two siblings had their feet planted to the ground, then the sailor stuffed it into his pocket, but failed multiple times until by the 7th time it fell in.

“What are you waiting for? Go on.” the sailor said, and marched away with the rest of his group, starting to continue their ear-bleeding song about tea and rum. Jane sighed with relief and congratulated her brother on his unlikely success. Then the two started down the street once more.

The last thing both of them expected was tea and rum, and a chocolate cake waiting at the front door. Jane nodded her approval, “Maybe she learned to be a good host.” Timothy knew very well that they were no guests, but more like rude breakers and enters. Not only he suspected there was a stick of dynamite in there too.

“Happy, I brought this with me!” Jane exclaimed, taking out the utensils in her pocket.

“Wait!” Timothy cried, “It could be a trap, or something…” Jane gave him a pitying look.

“It’s chocolate cake…”

“Well don’t you think it’s slightly suspicious that it’s just waiting at the door?”

“I don’t fancy she placed an intricate trap to slit our throats when we tried to eat cake!”

“She has a gun and lives in a crumbling house on the edge of a cliff.”

“Well now I’m starting to see your point more clearly.”

“That’s progress…”

So instead of eating the chocolate cake they weaved around it, and knocked on the door. There was no sound of anyone coming, and Jane tapped her foot impatiently. Suddenly without any warning the door swung open, and the two stumbled backwards, almost stepping on the cake.

“I had a feeling you little bugeyed dunkers would come back here, and I swear if you stepped on the cake I would have ended you. You know how long it took me to make that? DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE PAIN OF YOUR ARMS BARELY ABLE TO REACH THE COUNTER?” the girl shouted.

“Err, no? Wait though, I have something to propose to you, how about you tell everyone that you are not someone who picks children out of bed?” Timothy asked.

“Do I look like a sociable person to you?”

“Not exactly…”

“Then there’s your answer!”

“But please, everyone thinks that you’re some horrible person! Not only people who don’t even live at Harvey believe it so!”

“I have much bigger queries to figure out, much bigger than your thirst to convince parents to let your lot stay up for 5 more minutes.“ the girl countered. Jane was convinced that the girl was out of her mind.

“Tell me, what is so important, you live in a crumbling mansion. At this point what is there to matter anymore!” Jane cried.

“Well let me see, one the king’s soldiers are planning to invade my house, two you just won’t eat my cake! I WORKED FOR HALF AN HOUR PERFECTING IT! TRY MAKING A CAKE ON YOUR OWN WHEN YOU DON’T HAVE A STOOL!” Timothy and Jane both shouted at the same time, but very different things.

“The king is going to do WHAT?”

“I did want to eat your cake and still will, but my idiot brother thinks it’s a trap!”

I think you could tell who was who, but that should be the least of your concerns because the girl looked like she was on the verge of destruction. She seemed to have taken the second part of what they said very wrong.

“My beautiful cake is not a trap, I tried to be a decent person and now I get this?” the girl said. Timothy gulped slightly, who knew a girl could be so menacing to the point where they made you shiver about cake of all things! He also knew that this girl was no ordinary girl. Jane simply diffused the situation quickly by eating the chocolate cake, her brother felt that this was just a very very very bad dream.

“I’m ascending…” Jane drawled. She couldn’t believe simply how in the world someone could craft a cake this magnificent!

“Yes, of course your decked vocabulary increases size every time you eat food!” Timothy said. Jane didn’t care much for what Timothy said but instead told the girl her cake was skillfully made.

“Thank you! You know sitting in a deserted mansion on the edge of a cliff with no one to talk to gets boring sometimes. This is the best conversion I have had in 2 years. All the other ones were my dog’s stuffed animals stabbing each other for rum and pint of tea.”

“You have a dog?” Timothy asked. Instead of answering she turned to them, “You all seem like very horrible people so why don’t you go before the king’s puppets come racing down?”

“No, we're going to help you! If what you told us was true anyways…” Jane said. Timothy turned to Jane so quickly he was pretty sure he heard his back crack, it felt refreshing though.

“Who said we? No Jane, we are going to go back to mum and dad and pretend this never happened.” Timothy said. Although Jane didn’t know at the moment, but he realized something that the girl had slipped. She said deserted, meaning that she wasn’t the first owner of the house. Not only the strong British accent told him she lived around here.

“Please give me and my sister a moment…” Timothy said, then he whispered every single thing he put together, and his sister gave him a strange look.

“Sorry, I didn’t hear that. It just sounds like you’re trying to blow a windstorm in my ear!” Jane said. Timothy let out a labored sigh, then leaned forward once more and told Jane all over again.

“Those are some good ideas and all, but no matter what we are helping her!” Jane told him.

“She seems pretty capable…”

“Against the king’s soldiers?”

“Fine, we’re not going to interfere though, simply hide in a closet.”

“That’s dumb.”

Chapter 4: When a Person Meets Another Person

The crowd shouts and bangs against the big door. The guards try to hold off the riot but quickly get swallowed. King Henry the 3rd watched over them with fear written over his face. He heard the door smash open and the cries of the protesters become even louder, while he wasn’t very intelligent he knew at least that the people of the village hated him. How he hated them just as equally, bringing up the tea taxes, making their lives miserable, and he didn’t regret causing their suffering until this moment. “Dear citizens!" he tried to yell but no one listened, instead it seemed to fuel them to run even faster. Henry ordered the last of his remaining guards to lock the door securely, and to guard him with their lives, but instead the guards shot him dirty looks, and started advancing towards the fallen king. “Treason!” he cried.

The present day king sat on his throne rubbing his temples as he remembered his father’s downfall. He vowed not to make the same mistake, but at the same time he knew he had to bring his revenge onto those who dared to defy the king of Harvey. He took one look at his soldiers then with a flick of his wrist sent them marching upon, the sun was slowly sinking to the ground and the orange sky burned bright. He would take on his revenge slowly, not to raise suspicion, the tea taxes had fallen drastically, but he would add some sugar taxes. He would never forget the betrayal of Harvey. His eyes were filled with black, cruel malice.

The girl heard their chants and footsteps echoing across the huge lawn, and took out her whistle. One thing she knew was the kind’s soldiers were relentless, but her dog was even more so. Then